Some men are a little intense about their family legacy, but her husband has taken it to a level that is honestly bizarre. His obsession with keeping his lineage going has become so extreme that he’s already looking for ways to bypass his wife and find other women to have babies with him.
Early last year, this 29-year-old woman and her 34-year-old husband tied the knot, and in the middle of the year, they went on a honeymoon for a couple of months.
Sounds pretty magical, right? Well, it was, until halfway through the trip when she came across some unsettling internet searches on her husband’s extra phone.
She can’t recall everything she saw, but it included her husband searching for whether it was wrong to have several wives and how to convince a woman to have a baby with him out of wedlock.
“We don’t have any kids now, but I believe what triggered this was a conversation we had with others where they asked how many children we wanted,” she explained.
“I’ve always said that I wanted 2, but my husband wants at least 3 or more. I think he started thinking of ways that he can have children outside of our marriage, which is what led to those searches.”
“Not sure if this is relevant, but he’s always seemed obsessed with passing on his genes, which is why he wants more than 2 children (in case they’re both gay/ don’t want to have kids). It doesn’t really make sense to me??”
By the way, yes, they did chat about kids before getting hitched, and while they were in agreement about having them, they couldn’t decide on a number they were both comfortable with.
She figured that as soon as her husband saw how much responsibility one or two kids could be, he would relent and not ask her for more.
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She and her husband live in a city that has an extremely high cost of living attached to it, and she knows they can’t afford to have three children unless they make serious cuts to their lifestyles.
Her husband is pushing to have a baby ASAP, but she doesn’t feel ready to be a mom, especially in light of what she found on his phone.
She feels grossed out that her husband is interested in cheating on her, which makes her hesitate even more to give him a child. She hasn’t told her husband she knows about his searches or that she’s clued in to his plan.
She’s found herself growing increasingly irritated with her husband over day-to-day minor matters, too. They’re about to move into a new house, and she’s having a hard time spending thousands of dollars on furniture when she’s so unhappy with her husband.
She is going to say something to her husband about his internet searches, but she wants to first figure out what her next steps should be.
I don’t think she should have married her husband, considering they are not compatible. You either are on the same wavelength about kids with your spouse, or you’re not, and they’re not.
The only way forward here is to end their marriage so they can find spouses who see eye to eye with them about how many kids to have.
It does come across like her husband is more into having kids than being with her, and so she should run, not walk, to the nearest divorce lawyer.
What advice do you have for her? Why do you think some people prioritize the quantity of children over the actual quality of life they can provide for a future family?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
