While in the dating phase, do you think you should disclose your entire medical history to potential partners? Or can certain things be kept to yourself, unless they could impact someone else’s health?
This 27-year-old man spent the last four years in a committed relationship that ended along with 2025. Now, he’s currently using dating apps to meet women.
He’s gone out on a couple of dates with one 29-year-old girl, and it’s been smooth sailing so far. This week, the girl asked if he had any plans, and he admitted that he has a hospital appointment coming up.
“She asked what it was for and if everything was okay, and I mentioned it was just a routine appointment, as I have ulcerative colitis, so I have to go to the hospital for treatment every couple of months,” he explained.
“She changed at this point and asked how long I’ve known about it. I mentioned I’ve had the condition for 3 years. She got annoyed at this and asked why I didn’t state this up front. I asked why I would when it’s not a contagious disease and doesn’t affect her at all.”
“She just said it was something I should have been upfront about instead of hiding it. I pointed out I wasn’t hiding it, it just wasn’t necessary to mention straightaway as it’s not really anyone else’s business.”
She promptly blocked him after that conversation, which he found shocking. After speaking to a couple of his friends about it, many of them are on his side, but one friend is calling him dishonest.
This particular friend thinks he should clearly state in his dating profile that he has ulcerative colitis and feels strongly about him telling girls when he meets them for dates, too.
His friend pointed out that since he has had to be hospitalized for his disease, it’s serious enough that he should disclose it to potential love interests.
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He responded to his friend that he spent time in the hospital prior to receiving his diagnosis, and the treatment he’s currently undergoing works effectively.
He’s not in agreement with his friend and doesn’t agree that he should tell girls off the bat about his ulcerative colitis.
Ulcerative colitis is not something you can catch from another person, and it’s not entirely understood why some people have this condition.
Since there’s zero possibility of him passing his ulcerative colitis on to a romantic partner, no, I don’t think he needs to tell girls he’s dating he has it.
Also, he wasn’t being deceptive; when it came up in a relevant conversation, he told the offended girl about it.
What do you think? Does a potential partner have a right to know about a non-contagious chronic illness in the early stages of dating, or should that conversation wait until the relationship is serious?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
