A New Survey Reveals How Often People Argue In Their Relationships, What They Argue About, And More
Everyone knows that encountering arguments are just a part of being in a romantic relationship with someone.
After all, it is inevitable for two people who spend most of their time together to have disagreements and, sometimes, even full-blown fights.
Kiaundra Jackson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, even said, “If a couple told me they never fight, then I would be worried.”
But, a recent survey conducted by YouGov– a market research and data analytics firm in the U.K.– revealed just how often people argue with their partners, what they argue about, and more.
The survey included one thousand U.S. adult citizens, and their answers were collected between April 29 and May 5 of this year.
The largest group of respondents– forty-two percent– were married. The second largest group was single people who were not looking for a partner at twenty-three percent.
Finally, the rest of the respondents ranged from being single and looking for a partner, being in a casual relationship, being in a serious relationship, and living together.
And interestingly, the people who are in a relationship reported that they most frequently argue “multiple times a year.” This answer was followed by “multiple times a month” at fifteen percent.
The topic that couples argue about the most was also “tone of voice or attitude” at a whopping thirty-nine percent.
Mediteraneo – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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Money was second at twenty-eight percent, and communication styles were third at twenty-six percent.
The topics couples most infrequently argue about included religion (three percent), career decisions (five percent), cheating (six percent), and jealousy (eight percent).
Unfortunately, though, forty-eight percent of partners reported that they get into the same arguments over and over again.
Sixteen percent also reported that they argue in public, twenty percent said they argue in front of friends, and twenty-eight percent argue in front of their children.
Nonetheless, most people– about thirty-two percent– believe that their relationship’s argument style is still “somewhat healthy.”
This was followed by twenty-three percent of people who reported that their arguing style is “somewhat unhealthy.” And only seven percent said “very unhealthy.”
The survey also revealed that eighty-one percent of arguments never become physical, and fifty-three percent of partners never resort to swearing or name-calling.
What The Relationship Experts Say
Even if you do believe that your relationship argument style is healthy, it likely won’t hurt to have a refresher from some experts.
Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor and the author of the 5 Love Languages, advises couples to listen empathetically and try to understand where their partner is coming from.
He also suggests that partners take measured turns speaking in order to prevent interruptions and stop people from simply thinking about what they will say next.
Dr. Willard Harley, Jr., a marriage counselor and psychologist, also advises partners to schedule constructive conversations instead of engaging in random outbursts.
Finally, Dr. Harley Jr. also cautions people against making outright demands. Instead of making your partner feel like you are ordering them to do something, you could simply say, “How would you feel helping me out with…?” to switch from an enemy to a friend.
Other tips for healthy relationship arguing include expressing curiosity in your partner’s perspective, working to understand the unmet emotional need at the root of your conflict, and remembering that fights are not “won”– they are conquered together.
And to read the YouGov survey’s complete findings, visit the link here.
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