His Fiancée Isn’t Predictable At All, And She Also Keeps Making Threats, Which Is All Taking A Toll Emotionally On Him

Dragosh - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Dragosh - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 37-year-old guy is engaged to a woman who is 31, and he proposed to her 9 months ago. He and his fiancée have been with one another for 2 years now, and 1 year ago, they moved in together.

They definitely had a honeymoon phase, as everything was flawless at the beginning of their relationship.

But, throughout the last couple of months, everything has gradually slipped into being more challenging.

“The smallest things seem to send her into a total meltdown with me in the most unpredictable ways,” he explained.

“Things may be fine, but then I’ll suggest a beer garden, and the night is suddenly ruined as I’m deemed selfish.”

“We may have nice plans for a day out, but my 3 minutes of silence in the car is interpreted as being mad at her, and I’d better pull the car over right now and let her out here so she can walk home. I said I’d be upstairs in 5 minutes but really came up in 12…I’m told I’d better sleep on the couch because she doesn’t want me near her.”

So, lately, he has just quit trying to talk to her about anything while he does his best not to make her upset.

He has no clue what he could do to send her into a meltdown at any moment, so he lives pretty cautiously around her.

He has tried talking to his friends, who just brush him off and say that everyone in any relationship has disagreements.

Dragosh – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

The problem for him, though, is that he and his fiancée are not getting into disagreements; she’s just freaking out on him for no reason.

“What has sent things over the edge are some recent threats,” he said. “After a particularly bad weekend of meltdowns, we sat down, and I told her I can’t keep living like this.”

“She told me in that moment that she’s been thinking a lot about self-harm, how she knows she’s not good enough for me, how she recently pulled her car in the garage…but then thought better of it.”

“I took this very seriously. I offered to help her get help and to stay home with her that week if she felt she was a danger to herself, and I was waved off. Over the following days, any minor inconvenience (what to pick for dinner, for example) also included language of “this is why I don’t want to be alive anymore.”

He then informed his fiancée once more that her behavior was worrisome. In response, she told him to drop the topic before waving him off as full of drama.

From there, he reached out to consult with a couple of professionals who specialize in mental health, to see what they suggested.

He also asked his fiancée if he could sit on a session with her therapist, whom she sees every week so that he could lay out everything that’s worrying him.

He did get to sit in on exactly one session before bowing out to allow his fiancée to keep talking to her therapist privately.

“Since then, she has been furious at me, telling me I went overboard, that it’s clear I’m trying to make things selfishly all about me, which is why I made a big deal of talking to her therapist, that she doesn’t even really think those things and was simply overtired when she said it,” he continued.

“I’m really at a loss here. The threats…and prospect of losing her that way did a huge number on me emotionally…”

“I want to get past it and move on, but I also feel like I’m taking crazy pills. If anyone has any advice or input on situations like this, I’d really appreciate it.”

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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