She Wants To Divorce Her Husband Because His Sister Abandoned Her Three Kids And Left Them In Her Care, And She Doesn’t Want To Raise The Children, But Her Husband Does
Since she was young, this 29-year-old woman has known that she didn’t want to have or take care of children.
While in college, she met her now-husband, who also happened to be child-free.
She married her husband a couple of years ago.
Her husband’s sister, 24, has three children (two sons, one of whom is 5, and a 2-year-old daughter). The children have different fathers, and unfortunately, the fathers haven’t been present or contributed to their care at all.
“Two months ago, she left all of them at our house, said she was going on an errand, and never came back. Just left. We filed a report and everything. Last we heard, she was safe but did not want to come back,” she said.
Her husband’s mother works a minimum-wage job and struggles to financially support herself. In the past, she was a single mother, and she has expressed that she doesn’t want to take care of the children.
She doesn’t want to take care of the children, either. While she feels horrible for the situation the children are in, she understands the immense amount of work involved in raising children, and she doesn’t want that responsibility.
“In the two months they were here, our expenses have increased; we had to buy them clothes and stuff, and they are sleeping in our living room on air mattresses (we only have one bedroom),” she explained.
In order to take care of the children, she had to start working remotely, and her husband wasn’t able to do so. Plus, putting three children in daycare would be extremely costly.
Krakenimages.com – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Understandably, this situation has been difficult for everyone involved.
Eventually, CPS came into the picture and questioned whether or not they wanted the children to remain in their care.
She doesn’t, and while she assumed that she and her husband would be in agreement on this, he said that he wanted the children to stay with them.
“CPS has asked us to decide quickly and make necessary changes (get a bigger home, for one). My husband and I have gone back and forth on this. I cannot live the next 16 years like this. Raising kids is hard. And expensive. But he wants to be there for his family. Which I get,” she shared.
A couple of days ago, she told her husband that she wanted to divorce right away before he started making serious changes for the children and bringing her along for the ride.
In response, he called her a jerk for wanting to divorce due to his sister’s children and leaving him all alone when he needed her help the most.
She said to him that he’d already known what her boundaries were and that she never wanted to raise children, so his decision to do so without consulting her was a dealbreaker for her.
As she reflects on their wedding, she doesn’t feel like divorcing her husband is a betrayal of the vows they made.
Their vows were nontraditional; they didn’t include the line about being together “until death do us part,” but they did include not having children in their vows.
Instead of vowing to be married for the rest of their lives, they vowed to remain married until being apart from one another would make their lives better in the long run than remaining married would.
When she and her husband planned their vows, they both agreed that remaining in an unhealthy marriage when you no longer love one another just for the sake of keeping the vow “until death do us part” wasn’t something they felt comfortable ascribing to.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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