When TikToker Sarah Hale (@sarahhhhale) was in high school in Utah, her sister, Annie Schmidt, went missing. Her dad was a member of a musical group, so her sister’s disappearance was big news.
“When my sister first went missing, it was over fall break in 2016,” Sarah said.
“I was 15 years old in my sophomore year of high school, and I just kept thinking we’ll find her by the time school starts again. Spoiler alert, we definitely didn’t, meaning that I had to go back to school in the midst of all this.”
On the first day back from break, everyone stared at her as she walked through the halls. She was also the youngest of four siblings, all of whom had attended the same high school, so all the teachers knew what was going on and gave her special treatment.
After that day, Sarah didn’t return to school until the end of that term. However, she attended drill practice every day because she was on the high school drill team. A counselor was assigned to bring over her homework.
At the time she went missing, Annie was living in Oregon. Her mom had planned to go on a camping trip with her. She called Annie repeatedly, but she never picked up the phone.
So, her mom decided to fly from Utah to Oregon to check on her. When she arrived, it became apparent that Annie was missing.
There were search teams everywhere. They located Annie’s car at the base of a mountain in the Portland area. She, or someone, had driven up a gorge. It’s unclear if she was kidnapped or not.
They ended up finding her sister about a month and a half later. A canine search team tracked down her remains. Her cause of death was due to a fall.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Annie loved hiking and climbing mountains. Sarah and her family followed the trail she took so they could try to track what went wrong.
It was hard to climb. They noticed that the ground in Oregon was very wet and mossy, while Utah was more dry and rocky.
Sarah went back to school in January, still going through the grieving process. Everyone at school was concerned about her, and one of her teachers even started crying in the middle of class and asked her to share her experience from the past few months.
Sarah was severely depressed and did not appreciate being put on the spot. She stood up, said a couple of sentences, and sat back down.
Clearly, people just don’t know how to react when someone is grieving. But at least she got to feel the love and support pouring in from all sides.
The next year, her family moved an hour away, so she got to experience the opposite. No one at her new school stared at her or cared about what happened to her.
“At one school, people cared so deeply, and sure, every once in a while, it made me uncomfortable, but for the most part, people were radiating care and concern, and I knew that anywhere I turned, anyone I talked to, I could pretty much get some kindness, empathy, or help,” said Sarah.
“When I moved, that unfortunately was absolutely not the case.”
Some people were actually outright unkind. She moved back to her old school for her senior year so she could graduate with her friends and community.
At the end of the day, it’s impossible to know what to do or say when someone is grieving the loss of a loved one. When it comes to grief and death, Sarah’s advice is just to be there. Just the presence of someone who cares can help immensely.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
