Her Baby Daddy Tried To Use Her For A Green Card And Ghosted Her While She Was Giving Birth
For six months, this woman dated a man who’s originally from Nigeria. Then in January of 2022, she learned that she was pregnant with his baby.
Unfortunately, their romance came unglued pretty quickly, and she says that their cultural differences as well as emotional abuse contributed to that.
“I decided early on I’d be a mom with or without him. Pregnancy was rough: depression meds, weight loss, [and] mentally drained,” she explained.
“Fast forward to Sept 2022: I give birth. Out of desperation and postpartum emotions, I reach out offering a DNA test, and even told him he could name the baby. No response—calls, texts, voicemails, nothing.”
“After 3 days in the hospital, I named my son myself. I still gave him one name his dad mentioned but used my last name. Didn’t know if [the] dude was ever coming back, and I wasn’t naming my baby after a ghost.”
Well, three months after her son’s birth, her baby daddy popped back up again. They got the DNA test done, and she actually began dating her baby daddy again.
But then when his work visa expired, he talked her into getting married to him. He promised that this would help him provide for her and their son since his visa would be extended and he could stay in the country.
He also said they could go to therapy together, and take vacations – he was selling her a dream for sure, and it sounded too good to be true.
“What he didn’t say was that I’d be applying for his citizenship. I felt played like I’d been set up to get him a green card and possibly take my baby,” she said.
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“I spiraled, got therapy, we broke up (yes, I was wild too—don’t ask, the answer is probably yes). I moved back in with my mom, kept things cordial, [and] sent him pics of the baby, nothing major.”
“Then on my son’s first birthday (Sept 2023), I get served with a protective order out of nowhere. Shook me, not gonna lie. No contact for months, he misses both birthdays, but he sends $400/month. Cool, I was prepared to be a single mom.”
This brings us to her current problem: her baby daddy is trying to force her to change her son’s last and middle names so they align with his “tribal names,” which started back in November.
Her baby daddy is insisting this has to be done, as it ties into a Nigerian inheritance. She responded that she would consider the name changes, but that he would have to start being a part of his son’s life in exchange.
Well, he ghosted her again, but she did hear from him over the weekend. It’s been months of silence from him, yet here he is, asking her to change her son’s names once more.
She’s left wondering if she’s a jerk for saying it’s not going to happen, and her son will be keeping his middle name, as well as his last name, which matches her own.
What do you think?
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