His Friend Doesn't Like Her Teen Son And Is Trying To Rehome The Kid With Him

If you had a friend who wanted to rehome their adopted teen son with you, would you say yes to taking the poor kid in, or would you tell them to find another option?

This 36-year-old man and his 44-year-old husband have a home and a four-year-old daughter that they adopted together. They have a core group of friends they're super close to, including a couple who got divorced, yet they still live under one roof.

This couple has three sons, and one of them, 16-year-old Tyler, they adopted when he was little. The other two sons are similar ages and are biological kids of the parents.

"Tyler has a history of impulse control issues and struggles in school. He is very clearly treated as the 'black sheep' of his family, and his parents are openly vocal to people outside their household about how much of a 'pain' he is," he explained.

"Over the past couple of years, we’ve had Tyler over to our house to help out with small chores and hang out, partly to give him a safe space away from his home environment. Over time, though, his parents began treating this like free babysitting."

"Recently, arguments between Tyler and his mother have escalated significantly. She has explicitly stated to multiple people that she no longer wants him living in their house and has been looking for somewhere else to send him. No relatives have stepped up."

This woman is now asking him and his husband to take Tyler in, and she says it right in front of his siblings and his dad. It's quite triggering for his husband to witness this, as he ended up homeless at 15 due to his parents.

Having to sit there and watch Tyler about to be kicked out of the house is greatly upsetting to his husband. His husband said they should take Tyler in for two months so he can have a break from his awful family.

But Tyler's mom says they should keep him permanently because a temporary basis won't be helpful for the teen. He's seething and astonished at the situation.

Drobot Dean - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a smiling teen boy

"I am furious at his mother for trying to informally 're-home' her adopted son because of typical high school behavior and friction, essentially teaching him that his place in a family is conditional," he added.

Without legal custody of Tyler, he doesn't think it will solve anything. It's just helping Tyler's mom abandon him while giving his family a crisis to deal with. Also, he's worried about his 4-year-old daughter having to live in a stressful situation with Tyler around.

His husband appreciates his perspective, but the guilt over leaving Tyler in a house where nobody wants him is eating his husband alive, and his own history isn't helpful.

"I feel justified in my anger at his parents, but at the same time, I feel a wave of shame, like I am being a selfish [jerk] for saying 'no' to a teenager who needs a safe place to land," he continued.

"My instinct is to hold a firm boundary and tell his mother that Tyler needs a loving home, so she needs to step up and parent him or seek actual professional family resources, not hand him off to us."

He's left wondering if he's wrong to not want Tyler moving in with them.

I don't think he's wrong in feeling unprepared to bail Tyler out. It's really not his job. It's disgusting that Tyler's mom thinks she can rehome him like a discarded pet or something.

He should contact Child Protective Services to see if they can help, and why is he even friends with people like this?

What do you think?

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Pictured above is a screenshot of the original Reddit post for you to read

Pictured above is a screenshot of the original Reddit post for you to read

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