His Girlfriend Refuses To Care For Their Baby And Says She's Not Cut Out To Be A Mom, So He Wants To Move Out

If your partner abandoned their duties as a parent, what lengths would you go in order to protect your baby and make sure their needs got met?

This 21-year-old man and his 20-year-old girlfriend became first-time parents last month, and he's aware that they're pretty young to be calling themselves mom and dad.

However, their baby was the result of an unplanned pregnancy, and they decided to keep him anyway. They did grow excited to meet their son.

They have great jobs and live in a country where moms are permitted three years of maternity leave, along with money for their time spent away from their careers.

Additionally, they live together in an apartment they got before his girlfriend got pregnant, and they have been together for more than three years.

After his girlfriend gave birth, she pulled away from him and the baby. He figured she had to be tired or was adjusting to her new normal, so he gave her space and grace.

His girlfriend's mom temporarily moved in with them to help out with the baby. He works during daytime hours, so he's home in the afternoons and evenings to care for his son. It's important to him to be an involved dad.

His girlfriend hasn't shown an interest in their son since bringing him into the world, and he's been excusing it as exhaustion.

"Recently, I found out that while I'm at work, my girlfriend's mother is the one taking care of the baby almost all the time. That wouldn't normally be a problem because she specifically offered to help us, but according to her, my girlfriend isn't really doing anything," he explained.

progressman - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

"I've never seen my girlfriend change a diaper or feed our son (he's formula-fed), and her mother told me that this is also the case while I'm at work."

"A few days ago, her mother came to me and said she wants to go back home, but she's genuinely worried about leaving because she doesn't think our son would receive proper care if she wasn't there. If you think I'm being harsh, I understand. But my girlfriend has gone out to meet friends several times since giving birth."

He is supportive of taking time to yourself, especially considering his girlfriend gave birth recently, but he's confused about how she has the time and energy to go out with her friends but not to take care of their son.

He did speak to his girlfriend about his concerns and revealed that her mom is worried about leaving the baby all alone with her. He thought his girlfriend would get defensive, but she responded that she no longer believes she's cut out to be a mom.

Apparently, she doesn't view herself as a mom and does not think she fits into the role of a parent. Due to this, he's thinking it might be best for him to move in with his dad and take the baby with him,

He has an excellent bond with his dad, and his dad has a disability, so he gets benefits and doesn't work. That means his dad has plenty of time to help care for his son, and has said he's happy to help. He's not sure how to have this conversation with his girlfriend about leaving.

"Even though she told me she doesn't think she's cut out to be a mother and doesn't see herself in that role, she's still our son's mother and has parental rights. I'm scared that if I tell her I want to leave with our son, she'll refuse to let me take him," he continued.

"I honestly don't know whether she'd fight me because she genuinely wants to keep him, because she'd feel like I was taking away her chance to figure things out, or simply because she'd feel hurt that I was leaving."

"I don't know if she'd suddenly change her mind once the reality of us leaving actually hits her. I don't want to take our son away from his mother if this is something she can recover from, especially if this is related to postpartum issues. But at the same time, I feel like my first responsibility has to be making sure he's safe and properly cared for."

Also, since his girlfriend's mom is about to head home, he no longer will have a guarantee of his son being properly taken care of when he's not around.

He's left wondering if he should move in with his dad, even if it's not a permanent solution.

Ok, I think he needs to have an intervention with his girlfriend's mom. They should kindly sit his girlfriend down and talk about how worried they are about her.

She very well could have postpartum depression and not know it, so step one is getting her to a professional who can help evaluate her.

Next, he should ask his girlfriend's mom to extend her stay while they sort this all out. If she can't do that, then he should bring up moving in with his dad temporarily to get their son cared for.

What do you think?

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