His Wife Said She Hates Him And Only Hasn't Divorced Him Because Of Their Kids

Putting thought, time, and money into making your partner feel special on their birthday, only to have every gesture picked apart, is deeply demoralizing. But what would you do if, on top of that, your spouse said they hate you and are only with you because of the kids you share?

This man and his wife are in their early 30s, and they have two children: a 2-year-old and an 8-month-old. He would characterize their marriage as not wretched, but not amazing either. It's somewhere in between there.

While he and his wife have their highs and lows, overall, they can come together to work through problems and put them in the past. She's a fiery Latina, and she gets mad when things do not go her way.

They both work full-time jobs and are frequently drained due to that and managing two little kids. They don't sleep much, but they do fit in date nights and make time for one another when possible.

To celebrate their birthdays every year, they plan small vacations without the kids. For his wife's upcoming birthday, she expressed not wanting to travel, so he came up with a fun way to celebrate with her at home.

But sadly, his wife has put him down and picked apart everything he's done in preparation for her special day, and first, he tried not to take it personally because he knew she had an important presentation at work that was probably causing her stress.

But the negativity really added up, starting with when he bought her a bunch of balloons, and she criticized them as being meant for younger people.

"I picked up steaks for dinner. Initially, she said they were delicious, but then complained they weren't organic enough. I ordered a specialty cake from across the country that she's loved in the past," he explained.

"This time, she said it wasn't as good as another type she prefers and wasn't particularly good. I got sparkler candles instead of regular birthday candles because I thought they'd be fun. Apparently, that was another issue."

T.Den_Team - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman standing in front of a big tree

This morning he made her breakfast and coffee the exact same way he always does, and she snapped that the food would have been better if she cooked it herself while declaring that her coffee tasted horrible.

She also said he ruined her ability to sleep last night with his snoring, which caused her to wake up with a headache. And this is only the tip of the iceberg.

"After nearly 12 hours of this, I finally pushed back and told her to stop being a brat. That's when things escalated. She told me she 'hates me,' is 'only with me because of our kids,' and that I'm a 'horrible husband,'" he added.

"I didn't argue back. I walked away, got the kids ready for the day, and left without saying anything further. We have dinner plans tonight with her parents, and I have a babysitter arranged."

"I also planned a pretty big day for her on Saturday, including a spa treatment, private sunset sail, and dinner. But honestly, I don't know how to proceed."

He's not sure whether to slap a smile on his face and get through the rest of the festivities, because she truly insulted him and he can't forget her words.

They have gone to marriage counseling, and his wife revealed there that she intentionally says cruel things to him because she wants to hurt him.

Although his wife is aware of how upsetting that is to him, she won't change and keeps on acting like this. As he said before, he gets that she's stressed out at work, and on top of it, their kids are a handful.

"I'm not expecting everything to be perfect, and I recognize that I wasn't exactly perfect in how I responded either. But hearing your wife say she hates you and is only staying with you because of your children is devastating," he continued.

"So, what would you do? Do I put this aside for now and try to make the most of her birthday, or do I address it now, even if that means potentially making an already difficult birthday worse? I also don't want to pretend everything is fine when it isn't."

The biggest problem with his marriage is his wife. She sounds abusive, and none of what he outlined is close to ok. She's mean, ungrateful, and certainly acts like she hates him and is not just saying that to his face.

He should not go along with her birthday plans for tomorrow and tell her that he got the message; she hates him, so she can go by herself.

And why is he burying his head in the sand and pretending his marriage is fine when it isn't? I can't believe he wants to live like this, with a woman who can't stand him.

He should file for divorce because he already attempted counseling, and that didn't work/there is no incentive for his wife to change her ways.

What advice do you have for him?

You can read the original post below.

Pictured above is a screenshot of the original Reddit post for you to read

Pictured above is a second screenshot of the original Reddit post for you to read

Sign up for Chip Chick's newsletter and get exclusive stories like this delivered to your inbox.