He Slept With A Girl On A Second Date, And She Blamed Him For Moving Too Fast

When someone you're dating sets a boundary, actively initiates crossing it, and then penalizes you for their own choice, do you owe them an apology?

This 26-year-old guy lives in the South, and a few days ago, he matched with a girl on a dating app. She seemed nice, and they went on two different dates.

Their first date took place at a restaurant, and their second was three days later at the gym. When they were done working out, she invited him to come to her house.

"She was pretty vocal that we had physical chemistry, but she didn't want to do anything. And then she literally initiated the activity that she said she didn't want to do," he explained.

"I could tell things had changed because she started calling me bruh, instead of the babe she had already been calling me prior."

The following morning, he expected her to reach out to him, but she didn't at all. Hours went by, and she finally texted him something crazy.

"One thing I can not and will not look past is us being intimate too early. Although I was a willing participant, I don’t believe a strong relationship would be founded on lust. It’s one thing to lust after one another, but it’s a great thing when 2 are able to get to know each other on a deeper level. With that being said, you are a wonderful person and I wish you well," the girl wrote.

He's not sure if he should say sorry to her, and he is so confused. This girl was all over him, repeatedly calling him handsome and showering him with compliments.

After more consideration, he does believe this girl showed him a couple of red flags. She asked him on their first date if he slept with a lot of girls.

kiuikson - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a man in front of a mansion

He told her no, and she began obsessing over the number of girls he was talking to. She actually took his phone and went through his contact list while pretending she was changing the music in his car.

"And she went through to my contacts and said, 'You sure do talk to a lot of women.' I don't delete anyone's contacts, so most of them were years old," he continued.

"And I didn't want to make it awkward, so I just scrolled. She joked with me that if any of her friends saw her on this date, they'd say she was 'freaked out.' I asked her what she meant, and she said never mind, very shyly."

"Adding this in too, she did tell me she had cheated on a partner sometime last year. And IDK why that detail just now came to me, but eh?...Think I just solved my own question. Best of luck to her, though. It came up in conversation because she asked me if I had ever cheated."

He does wonder if this girl was just humiliated.

I mean, she's crazy, for sure, and this is probably a case of someone creating an insane boundary to happiness. I don't think it's worth it for him to waste his time attempting to interpret her mixed signals. He did nothing wrong, and he should block her and move on.

He shouldn't have shown more restraint because they both were excited about one another, so I can't find a problem. They're adults, and tons of people sleep together after only the second date and have totally normal, long-lasting relationships. What's the big deal?

What do you think?

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